Moving On & Out of Comfortable

I recently moved into an area of my city where I thought I'd never reside. My whole life - my office, school, grocery store, etc, revolved around a small suburban community which I grew up in. I moved into a beautiful townhouse with 2 floors and a backyard- so much space!... Too much space. Me being in my 20's, I felt prideful to be able to live in this kind of home by  myself. But I felt... comfortable. And that sense of comfort felt uneasy to me eventually. At this point in my life, I think I am too young to be comfortable. I want to continue to grow until I simply come to a point in my life where I should not anymore.

Just like my last "Millennial Life Crisis" of 2016. I decided to make a big change. Instead of taking over 30 flights, I decided to move entirely. I moved into the city of my town where I added 20 minutes to my commute, and am now paying 3x more than I did originally. I went from a safe suburban neighborhood, to an exciting, loud, urban lifestyle. I thought I wanted a home at such a young age, but I was in over my head. My current life is too on-the-go for a space that is... stagnant and safe.

Call me crazy - But I missed hearing noises. I missed interacting with people who were my age. The years I spent in my suburban neighborhood, I think I've seen my neighbors twice. I wake up and I hear silence. It made me feel so alone, like I was living in a building 100 miles away from society. I want to hear people screaming at each other and cars honking and planes flying over. I want to walk past a stranger and just smile because I actually SAW another human.

So why did I put that burden on myself? Because I felt stuck... Like I was sprinting but not going anywhere. I needed a new space to revive my motivation. I needed to de-clutter my home and my life. A ton has been going on lately - good exciting things! New job (to add to my 4 other jobs), new semester at school, and new opportunities in my workplace. I felt like I was being pulled from 5 different directions. I needed something I can just work on that's mine and only mine. Often, I would rearrange the furniture in my house to get that "new" feel back. This time, I literally packed up all my things and moved THAT day. It's been so long since I've lived in an apartment building. I forgot how annoying it was to move stuff up several floors. Well worth it for the tall ceilings, windows and that view of the city every morning. Something that I could never get living in the suburbs.

Sometimes I think that I keep running away... Doing extreme things to feel revived again. The answer isn't to always runaway. But isn't that what life is about? Constant change and growth. The year I took all those flights around the world, I learned so much about myself. The things I truly valued... and the things I shouldn't value that controlled me. Like social media... Maybe I am running away constantly. And maybe running is the best thing for me when I feel stuck. I mean, if you were swimming in the ocean, would you be treading water forever? Or would you eventually swim away? Even if you love swimming- Even if it means changing what you're comfortable with.

My life wasn't "worse" than before the changes I made. I just know when it's time to start excelling again. I've achieved what I had wanted to then, and now it's time to move on to the next chapter.


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